


Not Heartless

by Penguiduck



Series: An Expression of Thanks [4]
Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Banter, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Funny, Hobbies, One Shot, POV Second Person, Raffle, Reader-Insert, request
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-24 17:40:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21342130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Penguiduck/pseuds/Penguiduck
Summary: You recently discover those calendars with photos of shirtless firefighters posing with puppies.  L doesn't really understand.[Reader x L]For emmdies, Winner of the September, October 2019 Raffle.
Relationships: L (Death Note)/Reader
Series: An Expression of Thanks [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1453876
Comments: 6
Kudos: 94





	Not Heartless

**Author's Note:**

  * For [emmdies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmdies/gifts).

> I'm excited to present the third completed request for my raffle series: [An Expression of Thanks](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20227408/chapters/50634035#workskin)
> 
> The winner is emmdies with this request: _anyways, I was thinking of reader suddenly becoming ridiculously invested in some "mundane" thing (like a reality show or some celebrity drama, even fanfiction if you'd like), something L wouldn't personally give two shits about. how would deal with it? would he ask himself, "what the hell am I doing with this idiot?" but come up with some sort of compromise? would he humour her, pretend to be curious about it just so he can see her face light up when she talks about it? you tell me! basically just diabetes-giving fluff in a casual setting, some sort of "a day in the life of..."_
> 
> I thought long and hard about finding something that the reader could be invested in that would be most universally approved by ladies of all ages, and I settled on calendars of firefighters and puppies because who doesn't like those? 
> 
> This just fluff. I like fluff. L fluff is especially adorable because he's awkward and kind of bad at fluff, so this really has more banter than fluff, but I tried. :'D It's also a bit shorter than I originally intended, but I suppose tooth-rotting fluff isn't really meant to be lengthy -- if you hate it, let me know, and I'll write you something else. lol.
> 
> If anyone has thoughts, opinions, complaints, I welcome you to leave a comment! I take your feedback to heart. And, of course, if you leave a comment, this makes you eligible for the November raffle. ^_^
> 
> Please enjoy! Thanks for reading!

“Ugh, he’s so beautiful I can’t handle it.” 

L looked at you from the corner of his eye. “Beautiful? He’s another harbinger of the masculine agenda.” 

“He’s a firefighter. He saves lives, like you do.”

“He uses brute strength to barge into burning buildings and pulls unconscious people out.”

“How is that not brave? Besides, firefighters have, like, a ten percent increase in cancer rates than the rest of the population due to the fire exposure.”

“Nine percent, but close enough.”

You rolled your eyes. “My point being they make enormous sacrifices for the general population. Even if they get out of these awful circumstances alive, they still have to face the possibility of cancer.”

L shrugged. “I suppose, but so does everyone else, just at lower rates.” 

“Can’t you just be happy for me?” You closed the calendar, flipping it to the back. You wouldn’t be able to use it until next year, but you were looking forward to it already. “Just look at how gorgeous they are with their perfectly sculpted abs and muscular arms, and they are even better when you see them with these cute puppies.”

“Not interested.”

While it was a good sign that your boyfriend was not enamored with pictures of shirtless men, you wished he showed at least a little more enthusiasm when something made you so giddy. You sighed, quite exaggeratedly. 

“What’s wrong, _____?” he asked. There was a thread of sincerity in his voice. Oftentimes, he played detective with you, trying to decipher your emotions, fitting together clues of what you could be feeling or what you would do next. While intuitive in nearly every other facet of life, relationships were not his forte.

Of course, emotions were never quite that simple. “You know how you enjoy tennis or martial arts? Or even just shoveling mountains of cake in your mouth?”

“Mm?”

“Well, I like calendars with firefighters and puppies.”

“A recent obsession. You’ll get over it.”

Agitated, you slingshotted a hair tie at him, hitting him squarely in the back. “You can’t say shit like that.”

“As far as I understand it, I can say whatever I want.”

Another hair tie sprung forward, this one hitting him on the head. 

“But what you’re doing is domestic abuse.”

“Call the police, then. The great Detective L is tired of having hair ties shot at him. Oh, no. Woe is him!”

He looked up from his work, a mildly amused expression on his face. “Is your mission in life to prevent me from finding this serial killer? That sounds terribly childish, just because I won’t admit to liking your shirtless firefighters.”

“You don’t have to _like_ them. I just need you to appreciate my hobbies as I appreciate yours. Besides, you have no room to talk if you want to argue about being childish. You eat nothing but sweets and you even sort your gummy bears by color.”

He shrugged off your final comment. “I don’t know if a shirtless firefighter constitutes as a hobby.”

“But collecting calendars is, especially when they have both shirtless firefighters _and_ cute puppies. You’re really forgetting that second part. It’s essential. Who buys calendars with _just firefighters?_”

“I don't share your love of animals.” 

“But you should. Puppies, L. _Puppies._” You mustered your most pitiful facial expression. 

“Don't give me that, _____. Puppies are elimination machines. They will eat my sweets and gnaw on my fingers. What am I supposed to do with that?”

“You know what? You’re right. You’ve always struck me as more of a cat person. There’s a kitten featured in one of these months.”

“I think you’re missing the point.”

You tilted your head the side, shrugging your shoulders sassily. “I think I’m dating someone who doesn’t like animals, and I might be judging him at least a little bit.”

“You may keep judging. It doesn’t bother me.”

“Okay, but look at this face. (Not the firefighter’s. I know you’re not interested in that.) Look at this little puppy face.” You shoved the calendar in front of his computer monitor. “It’s soooooo cute. Do you really look at that face and feel _nothing_?”

He stared at the photo for a moment, owlish eyes blinking as he turned back to you. “It’s just a dog.”

“But look at that little face.”

He shrugged, going back to his work. “It’s definitely a face.”

“Ugh, you’re impossible. I think you might be heartless.” You hugged the calendar to your chest, feeling defeated by L’s lack of empathy.

“That’s a little harsh.”

“_You’re_ harsh,” you said, marching away. “I’ll just go enjoy my hobbies by myself. You can stay here and be boring and heartless.”

He stared at the computer monitor, and even though he didn’t say anything, he noticed the frustration in your voice. He’d have to do something about that before you gave him the cold shoulder for the next week.

That evening, you heard someone arrive at the door. _”Strange,”_ you thought. _”I didn’t order anything, and I’m not expecting anyone.”_ You opened the door, only to find a small package placed carefully on the side of your apartment.”

“It’s mine,” L said, appearing behind you.

You handed him the package, about to return to your room.

“You’re not going to stay and see what it is?”

“You order stuff all the time, little of which interests me.”

He gave you a knowing grin. “I think this’ll interest you.” He motioned for you to follow as he crashed on the living room sofa, tearing at the corner of the package with his teeth.

You plopped down across from him. “Well? What is it?”

He tossed the opened package at you, the item still hidden in the envelope. “See for yourself. I thought I’d give your hobby a try.”

You pulled it out of the packaging, staring at it. It was certainly a calendar, but…

“Women with dogs. I don’t think I’d ever like male firefighters with dogs, but women with dogs I might be able to — wait. What’s so funny?”

You had burst out laughing, unable to contain yourself. Your stomach hurt, and you gasped for air. “Oh my god, L! Do you even know what you ordered?”

“Give it here.” L snatched the calendar away from you, and his eyes grew wide.

“Women with _hot_dogs. Really? Did you even read the item description before ordering it?”

He sighed. “I tried so hard, too.” He tossed the calendar into the wastebasket.

“Wait! What are you doing?”

“Surely, you’re not interested in women with hotdogs. If so, I’ve severely misjudged you.”

You stood up, plucking the calendar out of the wastebasket. “No, but this is your first attempt at trying to empathize with me and enjoy something I like, so I think I’ll keep it as a reminder — you’re not heartless.” You sat down next to him on the couch, setting the calendar on the coffee table. “I knew you weren’t. I hope you realize I’m just teasing.”

“So I didn’t have to buy that ridiculous calendar to prove a point?”

You leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. “Don’t push your luck.”


End file.
